Money and power

In everything we do, there's always sweet and tough moments to face. Unfortunately, in some circumstances, the tough moments always prevail over the sweet ones. It's good to be reminded that some day we will all leave the earth but meanwhile, there's still so much things to do. 

And... I realize that in life, MONEY AND POWER matters the most regardless of your religion, race and etc etc. Cux that's what I saw.

Justice? Ahemmm. Far far away from it. 

Best Brother!

I have the best brothers in the world! Like seriously. hehehehehee I am really blessed. 

Humans but not humans

Today the aunty at the "chap fan" stall talked to me. For the very first time =) She showed me a lady on the newspaper. It's chinese newspaper. I don't understand but she told me something like the lady has been beaten kot/tortured or something like that lah... until the teeth gone!!! She told me.." Human r lot like human anymore."

It makes me wonder humans these days. Where are the love? Sincere friendship? True caring? Are we still human or just human by name but am like animal? Even animals don't act so terribly like human does! Even if they do, I suppose they can be forgiven because they got no brain but hellooooooo.. we are gifted with BRAIN! Unless you have permanent head damage..you need to think  twice NILAI NILAI MURNI. These days everything left on papers only - not practised any longer. How sad!!!

Think without the box

Can we learn to think WITHOUT THE BOX? Not outside the box!

I am pretty amazed by successful people who acquire knowledge without bored of it and those  who can inspire others to love knowledge. Today even as my mentor was sharing with me, I am so inspired and yes!! I truly respect her as an individual who walk through tough pathssss who can think creatively =) I am amazed by her. Really.

Life is so so so short

I feel so SHOCKED and beyond words.

I really don't know how to described my feeling.

Yesterday I got shocking news about 1 of my church members who passed away while on business trip in china. I mean that's really something unexpected! He's really a family man - someone who upholds his family. Someone who's always there for his daughterssss. I know his daughters are very very close to him. I remember those days I used to feel very jealous in church because his daughters hugged him or rather he go and hug his daughter as though they are best friends. =) Yet he passed away??? My heart goes all out for his family especially his daughters who are my childhood friends.

This morning I'm bombarded with the news that kakak paper logic passed away. I've never really know her name but she's one of the nicest person in this world. She's the one who helped me whenever I got problem photostating or printing. She's always there for EVERY student - helping them whenever she can. The other day I wanted to photostat but I can't cux it's locked by administrator - was blaming her silently why lah she didn't come early when she might be ill that time (I really didn't know). Today she passed away??? The last conversation I had with her was during fire drill last semester after our exam. I can still remember laughing and joking with her about this novel she was holding entitled, "Ombak rindu."

God why??? They are really really young!!

I MISS THE KAKAK PAPER LOGICCC!!!

Why they passed away at a very very young age???

Renewed

I am so glad for PERKEB tonight. Each time I go to PERKEB, I'm recharged back. Thank God for that. I truly need that... After been through 1 whole week of stress, it's good to just worship God in PERKEB. I'm always looking forward to positive things =) Pn Saa'diah - my workplace communication lecturer really smiles a lot and that really makes my day. At least not so gloomy. hehehee...Thank You Lord Jesus for being with me throughout these 5 weeks already! =)

Perfectionist?

I now wonder about first year. Quite funny tho. While lecturer has made things easy for me, I made things pretty difficult for myself. ha ha. Then I realize hey first yr law subjects are quite easy but what I thought was that.. Huh?? How do you prove this case? Burden of proof? Evidence? How come can reach this judgment and etc etc.. Made life difficult for myself.

I feel very uncertain when I have to answer question during tutorial time. Unless I need to rescue the situation, I usually won't answer. But I do lah to gain marks hoping in my heart lecturer will not question me further. U c? Then I read someone's blog and I wonder am I a perfectionist? Maybe yes huh!! ?? 

I kinda dislike perfectionist cux they have to be perfect in everything though not so perfect. However, I always wonder about lots of things. Even as I answer 1 question, my mind will race to another question pretty fast. So that's why when I answer something, I'm pretty unsure of it cux there's always UNENDING QUESTIONS racing on my mind. I have to feel confident enough before I can answer but then I realize lecturers are not even expecting us undergrads to be perfect. Just some answers on the surface will do. Why do I push myself so hard? Funny when I think about it.

Maybe I should continue my master. I really want to learn more and deeper about something. 10-12 weeks of semester doesn't really help you much. YOu have to learn so many things but on the surface only. While I continue to question, I know I won't get answer. Besides, I don't have the time to search for all the answers to my questions. Sometimes I wonder if my question is even logic. haha..That's why it's safer at times to ask friends instead of lecturer although I yearn and thirst for extra knowledge from lecturer. Dilemma.

Is this what you call perfectionist? I don't think I am. 

Life is full of wonders when you get answers to your questions. 

Rainbow behind the darkness. =)


*BTW I got a little irritated that someone who don't sit beside me will actually be so nice to me during exam. I seriously don't treasure such friends. YOu think I am your exam answering machine?? U'll always be stupid this way you know. *

Good day!!!

The Distant Hours - little little chicken

I like this particular letter very very much. Very warm and I could feel the love and the closeness that they share with one another. Genuine kind =)


Dearest Merry,


My clever, clever chicken! YOur story arrived safely and soundly and I wept when I read it. What  a beautiful, beautiful piece! Joyous and terribly sad, and oh! so beautifully observed. What a clever young Miss you are! There is such honesty in your writing. Merry, a truthfulness to which many aspire, but which few attain. You must keep on; there is no reason why you shouldn't do exactly what you wish with your life. There is nothing holding you back, my little friend. 


I would love to have been able to tell you this in person, to hand your manuscript back to you beneath the tree in the park, the one with the little diamonds of sunlight caught within its leaves, but I'm sorry to say that I won't be back in LOndon as I thought. Not for a time, at any rate. Things here have not worked out as I'd imagined. I can't say too much, only that something has happened and it's best for me to stay at home for now. I miss you Merry, you were my first and only friend, did I ever tell you that? I think often of our time here together, especially that afternoon on the roof, do you remember? YOu'd only been with us a few days and hadn't yet told me you were frightened of heights. You asked me what I was frightened of and I told you. I'd never spoken of it to anyone else. 


Goodbye little chicken,
Much love always,
Juniper x

First day of school

Am so glad to talk to my lecturer today.. Finally receive rewards for my hard work =) though I keep thinking it's not my own effort but it's really a gift from God.

Lecturer: Esther, your BM is very good d. Now, you need to polish up your English. ha ha ha.

Haizzz.. funny.

But in the midst of all, I really enjoyed  talking to her. Wouldn't trade anything else for that.

First day of school and motivated for 2 hours in her room. Heheheee

The ever-increasing price of goods

Yesterday when I went to the supermarket, I got shocked again!! Price of goods kept increasing. Things that I don't buy often those days because the price is quite high...is even higher now. Huhhhhh!! Sighing.. I really feel like buying more & more stuff & keep them so that I don't need to buy them anymore like pens. Of course most goods has expiry date, unfortunately. Malaysia!!!! Y the price of goods keep increasing? CNY just over - price increase - banyak  susah lo hidup! Already there are many who struggle through life.. now how you expect them to live? Are we suppose to live on vegetables alone?(which is not that cheap also anymore)

I mean it's really a BURDEN k!! I don't mind paying RM200 for my books from my own pocket as long as price of goods don't increase. Goods like meat, vege, eggs & etc are things that we need & buy often, unlike books. I am pretty afraid that when I go to supermarket the next time, price will increase again.

Killing me softly... Food in canteen keep increasing also. I dare not imagine how much a plate of chicken rice will cost in canteen when I graduate. 

Pretty good day

Hmmmph today is a good day! Woke up early to go to faculty to get my voucher but end up I stuck in fire drill. Ha ha. But I thank God because finally I get to settle my things with my lecturer (uhhhh she looked so sick =( over-exhausted). Then, kemas2 stuff and went to Mid Valley. Watched Journey to Mysterious Island - pretty good show. Oh ya! The best part is that I got my whole series of Narnia for just RM18!!! How cool is that! I can't believe books are so cheappppp!! Some books-though it's RM5 but I don't think it's that cheap tho. ha ha.. 

In KTM...

It's quite pack but ain't too bad. There are few people who let me sit because they saw I carry hamper. Pretty cool lah they all. Spreading the laughter around. They love to laugh...It's kinda fun to hear it. hehehehee..even the Chinese  lady smiled. Isn't it nice to spread joy around in the midst of random people unexpectedly? Even though they are tired..I know they appreciate it. 

I thank God because I haven't laugh like that for so longggg!! I haven't hear people laugh like that also for so long! It seems that they are pretty SENSIBLE PEOPLE. They let the working lady sit.. and they stand. I am amazed! How come intellectual people are not sensible or perhaps immune to people's need around them d? Wondering why have we lost that. We don't need to be good..neither do we need to be awesome..or some intellectual guys...to do kindness to others. Just be sensitive to people's need around you is good enough and it's been long since I experience that. Someone offering their sit to me? Not with anger or sadness but with happiness - that's more than enough to make my day. Really =)) 

I am so so amazed!! ha ha. I can't stop laughing thinking about them. ha ha ha!!! When Vivian passed her stuff to me..I tertarik her finger kot. So guess what? She made this sound. "Yaaaaakkkkkk" in a cute way and everyone (those gang together) laughed!! I also can't stand and started laughing together! ha ha ha. Funny lah. 

Good day when u laugh! Really. hehehehehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehe

I know I am going to miss these nice chap and their laughter. tak bleh tahan..sure will laugh. More than that, I am touched by their kindness. 

Oh ya! Someone mistaken me for Sabahan again! Uhhhh! Till I speak English with a college mate whom I happened to meet in the train. Hehehee..

Thank YOU LORD JESUS FOR SUCH A GOOD DAYYYYY!! NOTHING CAN BE BETTER THAN THIS! THANK YOU FOR SUCH AMAZING BLESSING FOR TODAY. I TRULY APPRECIATE IT. REALLY. I DO. YOU CAN SEE THE GLOW ON MY FACE.HEHEHEHEEE..LOVE YOU LORD JESUS. 

XYZ

At times all you can ask is XYZ.

Church

At times like this.. I missed going to church and greeted with smiles, warm greetings and hugs. I truly miss that. That's where you get to be yourself and not judged. Loved for who you are. =) 

Meh!

Why studying is getting boring and boring and even more boring? so not inspired. ahhh i HATE COPYING BACK THE SAME THING IN EXAM!! BORINGGG!!! whatever ~~ exam mode. so sien ahhhh...mana my teman study Beatriceeeee...!! I love studying and watching tv at same time though i know actually i watch tv more than i study. lol. anyway 3 more papers to go. yippieee!!!